You are dating, or you’re dating again. It’s exciting! Perhaps. It can also be nerve-wracking and anxiety-producing. Time management is also a problem. How can you balance dating and work, kids, events, and sleep? But time isn’t the only problem. Another problem is finding meaningful dates. It is not fun to sit across from your date and fantasize about your pillow or your bed.
Let’s just say that I did the math. There will be three people you want to keep in touch with, even if it’s just for a second time, for every 10 dates you have. One, m-ay-b-e, two people will get your hormones going… wild… when you are together.
If you’re lucky, which is not often, there will be one who grabs your attention even though you aren’t together. One who can make your neurons go on a continuous rapid fire just by thinking.
What does this all mean? It could be that you have found The One. Keep your cool! Slow down! Although you may have found The One, I would not recommend that you start choosing a bridal party right away.
These three questions must be answered before you can answer the rest:
1. Is it 90 days since the last time?
No? You’re not in love, then! It doesn’t matter how long-lasting the romance between Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom lasted 32 days. You and I both live in this real world!
According to Stanlee Panelle, a psychotherapist, “it takes approximately 90 days for those first wild hormones to settle down…you need about three months to get through.”
Your hormones control your body and the only thing they want is for you to get a mate.
The first three months of your life are dominated by hormone-induced chemical reactions that urge you to have sex. Although we humans are sophisticated and civilized, we are still animals with an instinctive need to mate.
You may have a good idea if the urge to sex persists after 90 days, especially if you’ve had sex before.
2. Are you a peep?
No? You might want to reconsider those three words.
Great if you can get to know your sweetie’s family and friends within the first 90 day. If you don’t, but still believe this is The One, then it should be on your list for the next 90 days!
Pay attention to the friends of your new love and get to know them. You will learn a lot from your new partner’s friends. Don’t be afraid to meet the families of your new love interest. They are just people too and if you look closely, they will give you priceless information about your new love interest…especially as you watch their interactions with each other.
You might be right if you discover that your sweetie is not who you thought. After answering question #3
3. Are you a sexy person?
No? All bets are off, even if you’ve been with the peeps for 90 days! To get to the next three words, you must leap over this hurdle!
I am sorry for violating any moral code. We may not want it to be heard or admit it but we all know that bad sexual performance can quickly end a relationship.
It may not be that one of you is bad at sex. It might just be that you two don’t fit together in a way that feels right…comfortable…good. Perhaps it’s a matter of your appetite. Both must be open to sexual pleasure.
After 90 days, you have met your family and friends and can tolerate them (or maybe even love them!). If you have had exceptional sex, then you are definitely on to something!
If you don’t answer any of these questions, I ask that you swallow the following three words: I love you.
Give your new relationship time to develop without imposing any time limits or expectations. Do not make long-term commitments to one another. There is no ‘I love’, moving in together, or tattoos with your initials or name. Take your time. Take the time to get to know each other. Spend time really getting to know one another…intellectually, spiritually, sexually. Have fun. Spend as much time as possible together.
Don’t be afraid to share your thoughts and feelings.
Have fun! Relationships can become too heavy quickly. Keep it lighthearted! If you are truly in love, it takes time and knowledge.