The Spiritual Reasons We Love Computers Golf and Men

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According to Big Bang Theory, the universe as we know it today was created 15 billion years ago. Earth was created 5 billion years ago. Chi Chi Rodriguez was 72 years old and was raised in a poor Puerto Rican household with five brothers and sisters. His father made $18 per week tending to cows and manual labor. Chi Chi Rodriguez was seven years old when he got a job transporting water to a sugar plantation in Puerto Rico. Based on Chi Chi Rodriguez’s nature, every Mexican should be allowed to enter the United States.

All three countries should be united: Canada, Mexico and the United States. We would have Alberta’s crude oil, which is far more than any of the Middle East oil or the great lakes. We should also eliminate all man-made countries, stop all wars between them and stop spending our earnings on killing machines. It’s simple to imagine there are no countries.

Computers are a wonderful tool that allows us to share our thoughts with others around the globe in blogs, articles, myspace and facebook. Computers and the internet can be used to alleviate loneliness in societies that have experienced the disintegration of traditional family structures. You can enjoy a full social life with the help of your telephone and television. No longer do we need our siblings, parents and grandparents or monopoly boards to entertain ourselves.

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You have all the information you need in one place: your keyboard. Webmd.com will soon eliminate the need for doctors. We will no longer need schools with wikipedia.org. Soon, our boyfriends won’t need us. Our spam will be read by spinsters.

Computers are so easy to use that it doesn’t require any physical effort. It’s easy to spend hours typing and feel like we have accomplished something. Chi Chi Rodriguez became a caddy when he was seven years old. A branch from a Guava tree was transformed into a club and he used a coke can as a ball. He learned golf from the caddies he played for, and soon he was on the road to becoming a master golfer.

The invention of books made “The King of Kings” famous. The invention of televisions made “The King” famous. Paris Hilton was the modern-day Aphrodite thanks to the invention of personal computers, and the internet at the same time that Paris the heiress was born into luxury, the Century Regional Detention Center. People used to read fiction in magazines, books and tabloids back in the day. We now know that the truth on tmz.com in real-time is far stranger than fiction. We all love to see the fallen from grace. We’re yours. We will charge $250,000 to share 9 songs. We will not be stopped from using our computers.

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A relationship is only as strong as its chemistry. If you don’t feel connected to the person you love, how can you be loyal to that person your whole life? Modern medicine has doubled the lifespan of our ancestors. Although it may seem superficial, there is an area of the brain that reacts to beautiful images and shudders at ugly ones. Computers are a joy because they offer beautiful images, colors, and pictures. These make us happy. It’s a well-known fact that suicide rates in homes without computers are twice as high. You can sue me, even if I made it up.

This is the spiritual reason we love computers. Many people have had near-death experiences. These people have been medically dead. The white light of the Holy Spirit, which was living in their bodies, left them while they were dying. Some of their hospital rooms had drywall for 8 feet, and glass for 2 feet. Their spirits rose to the top of their room, where they saw their husbands trying to grab the nurse, who had three windows open on her computer. One was monitoring patients and one was accessing the internet. The other was able to see the real-time scores on thegolfchannel.com. The doctor instantly brought back the woman. The husband entered the room and the woman was dead. She said to him, “I see that Chi Chi Rodriguez is losing against Jack Nicklaus at the U.S. Senior Open 18-hole playoff.” The woman, who was still alive, saw the computer and bright white light tunnel to Heaven. This is the portal that 5 million people have used to return to Heaven for the past 5,000,000 years.

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The Beatles sang, “I am the Walrus”, in “I Am the Walrus”. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0yNcE8c3j2M There are atoms in your body that were part of every living thing in history ever. The Chinese Confucian Religion teaches that humans and nature are one. The Buddhist Religion holds that all living beings are equal. The God who lives within us all is your white light Holy Spirit.

Yesterday, President George Bush stated that no matter what faith you have, we all pray to one God. Jews, Christians, and Muslims all pray for the same God that carved the 10 commandments into stone at Mount Sinai 3200 years ago. God of Mount Sinai can also be called God the Father, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit. The white light Holy Ghost within us all is similar to gravity. It doesn’t matter what we call it or what we believe about it. It will pull us in the right direction regardless of whether or not you believe in it. This Holy Spirit lives within us all, King David stated that “You are all Gods, and you are all children God.” (Psalm 8:6 in the Old Testament. Islam follows the New Testament, and the Muslim Messiahs (Jesus Christ and the Mahdi) are also in Islam.

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Human beings are notorious for focusing on their minuscule differences and completely overlooking the vast similarities among them, such as human DNA, men, golf, and computers. We are united with all other souls when we die and enter the light. You are God (Holy White light), you are part God, and you are one God’s children. God wrote “Don’t murder” in stone because murdering God is murdering God. The God in the other person also sees it. Computers are what make us happy. We love the white light that our monitors emit. It makes us feel as if we are returning home from Heaven. The white light is a wonderful thing.

What is the purpose of life, then? We’re here to feel joy and pain. People love to go to the track as they can experience everything from the lowest to the highest. People often ask, “Why does bad happen to good people?” To learn from her pain, an angel must experience it on Earth in order to help others.

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Today we live in frightening times, with nuclear war, global warming and the threat of polar bears, walruses, and other extinct species. There is only 25 years left to ol oil and economic woes. We are sickened by the number of major issues that are beyond our control. Computers are our favorite tool because it does what we tell it to. Psychologically, control and criticism make us feel better about our self-worth.

It is a great feeling to help others. Computers and golf are our favorite tools because we can help others. Let us go into the light, don’t keep us away, for we have sinned O Glorious God Mount Sinai, Buddha Krishna, Krishna, Chinese God and all other names of God. Chi Chi Rodriguez said, “Into the cup let me approach, don’t lip me out,” during his 30 wins. Nothing can beat the sensation of a five-iron well-struck soaring high into the hills of Palm Springs California. Morgan Pressel will tell you. Computers are very much like dogs. Computers are like dogs in that they love unconditionally and have a lot of light.

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