*The second in a series about real life experiences that the author has shared. Only names of people or places may lead to a deviation from the truth.
My friends, enjoy this true story.
I hope you will learn from my foibles.
The first article, “Experiences From ‘The Flow (1): From Heartbreak To Happiness (Nov 2007,”)” I w’: From Heartbreak To Happiness” recounted my heartbreak and emotional ordeal, as well as my recovery.
It was truly amazing to see what happened right away after you wrote that letter of grief.
– Feeling LIKE MYSELF AGAIN
The grief letter was closed. It was time for me to move on. I followed the advice I had read about post-breakup activities and kept myself busy. I quickly returned to the gym, and was back in shape.
Fortunately, I have always been quite resilient (emotionally and physically).
I felt like myself again, fit, confident, happy. I was able to rekindle friendships that had been lost during my time with the ex girlfriend. I was a teacher and writer. I also learned to live alone, and happily.
It was so stupid of me to have suffered all the self-inflicted wounds I had from my relationship.
But now, life was so different:
There’s no need to rush home, be anxious to hug and kiss my girlfriend, only to return to the empty house.
You no longer have to wonder where she is.
There was no more anxiety about who she was with or what she was doing.
You won’t have to sleepless nights wishing she would call or return home soon.
Financial irresponsibility is over. There will be no more food money wasted on food. ).
There is no need to be stressed about multiple unplanned expenses, such as ex-girlfriends’ new clothes, shoes and make-up. ).
I believe that the money that I gave her was not sent.
Basically, there are no more unpleasant surprises.
Yes, it was easy, smooth, and relaxed. Even though I missed some of the positive aspects from my past relationships, I came to realize that these tender and happy times were not worth the high cost of stress, money, and emotional turmoil.
When I was ready, I promised to enter a win/win relationship instead of losing/win.
It wasn’t the shortage of candidates that was the problem. There were many women around who would gladly care for my emotional wounds. It was a challenge to make sure that I wanted and was willing to try again for love.
I decided that, if I was still “on rebound”, the worst thing for me was to seek comfort in the arms of another woman. A woman who likely cared deeply for me (if not loved) but whom I was only partial to. Like? Maybe. Love? No.
I would feel much better if I could have immediate intimacy with another woman. In the end, though, I would feel guilty for hurting an innocent person. After experiencing heartbreak, I knew how awful it was to be used or abused. I was certain I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if someone did the same thing to me.
I chose to wait. When the right time came, I would recognize it and take action.
– LESSONS OF RELAPSE –
It takes time to heal emotional hurts. What is the time frame? It depends on how severe the relationship was. Even if you think you are well, you may experience emotional relapses (episodes depressed, anger, or tears).
It was a very special day at work. Thai High School held their annual athletic event in a large stadium. Teams of students would compete against one another. This annual spectacle was a lot of ceremony and fanfare. The event was also covered by a crew of photographers from an Asian/International news station.
My friends and me noticed the beautiful Asian female news reporter and, as American males do often, we commented on how fortunate her husband or boyfriend must have been.
The petite woman had beautiful Asian eyes and a body that was perfect for her. She also had a great smile that could swallow the entire world. This was indeed a classy, elegant lady from a country where Asian beauty was common, but where professional credentials and “western” work ethics were rare.
She stayed with her colleagues and the camera crew, and then she disappeared into an air-conditioned VIP office for school executives and TV reporters.
My fellow foreign teachers and I refocused our attention on the task at hand, which was to support our assigned teams. I felt good. It was sunny and it was nice to take a break from all the English lessons.
Then I saw something that immediately shattered my joy.
There were many couples in love all around me. Students were stealing kisses and secret hugs from their partners. Teachers and their spouses were seen holding hands, looking at one another lovingly. Even old and young relatives were able to enjoy the day together with their spouses, boyfriends or girlfriends.
All these couples were close to my heart. I thought I had lost my girlfriend. I thought I had cried my last tears.
It was becoming too much to bear the familiar feelings of loss and weakness (recovering form pneumonia). An overwhelming sadness enveloped me, like a heavy blanket falling from the sky.
My composure was rapidly losing its hold.
Even among the crowds at the stadium, I felt alone. I was so disappointed in the past relationship, despite how tender and good it was. I was unsure if I could keep it all together. I didn’t want it to be lost in front of my friends so I searched for the closest alcove under the stairs and squatted in the dark recess of the stairs.
Alone, my thoughts wandered and I thought, “What lessons can this teach me?”
1. Let me just say that I should be proud of myself. Only by being human and open to love can I be vulnerable to heartbreak.
2. Heartbreak is not something you can do overnight. Recovery can sometimes feel complete but only time will tell.
3. The emotional misery of those suffering from illness is multiplied by the disease!
– THE MIRACLES BEGIN
It was difficult to stay awake due to the combination of cool breeze, shade, and cold medicine. My eyelids were becoming very heavy so I took a power nap.
It was also better than self-pity.
My back against the cement wall below the stairs, I curled into a ball and began to drift off.
It happened then…
The cool breeze blowing through my hair and face became less noticeable. My eyelids were no longer able to see the sun’s brightness. A scenty presence was also present.
I thought at first that I was dreaming. Slowly, I opened my eyes to see the beautiful Asian reporter.
She wanted to be able to escape from the hustle and bustle of everyday life.
She said, “Sawat Dee Kaa (Hello),”
“Kao tot na kraap. Phom mai khun Thai. Poot pasay Thai nit-noy (I’m sorry. I am not Thai. “I can only speak a little Thai”), I replied.
She said IN PERFECT BRITISH ENGLISH, “Oh, I thought that you were Thai,”
“Same here. “I thought you were Thai, too. Hello, my name is J.C.”
“Hi. “Hi. I am a reporter for the News Crew in Vietnam.
As I sat down to talk with Songsana, I realized that I was living the same life I wrote 6 months ago in “My Friend Yu – The Prosperity Mentor”.
Songsana is the main character in the book. Both the fictional character and the real woman in the book are rare (Asian, English-speaking, English educated).
Both appeared out of thin air and into J.C.’s world (the book J.C., and the real J.C.).
Both women are classy, petite, friendly women with perfect skin, glowing smiles and magnetic personalities.
My mind raced with question after question:
What were the chances that two English-speaking, Thai-looking foreigners would meet each other in this location, at this hour, on this date, and in such a large number of Thai tourists and citizens?
What were our chances of even getting to know each other among the thousands of people who attended this event?
Songsana chose the same spot that I had chosen out of all the resting places in the Sports’ stadium.
Is it coincidence or miracles? I don’t know. What I do know is that we spoke and reacted to each other like long-time friends. It was natural.
It was precisely what I needed to regain my faith in everything, in myself, in miracles and in love.
We talked as much as possible, and sat down.
(In the next article of this series, “Experiences From ‘the Flow (3): LOST and FOUND”, you’ll find the real life account of what happened. These miracles never stop. It gets more random, fascinating, and spontaneous.
Until then, you can find “The Flow”, and get in the flow!
Your friend on this adventurous journey called Life
Carl “J.C.” Pantejo
Please note: The following articles will help you to overcome heartbreak, unconditional love, exorcise past demons and discover the Illusive Secret of Happiness.
“Experiences with ‘The Flo – How Dare She! “Out of desperation, I learned how to forgive”
“Remember Who You Are”
Do You Need to Heal Your Broken Heart?” Continue reading. Learn how to overcome heartbreak and find the secret to happiness.
Love, heartbreak, relationships, relapse, miracles, synchronicity, coincidence, recovery, chance.