Insert Humor to Your Day With Clean Insurance Jokes

There are two simple ways to change an agent’s attitude after they have missed a sale or had a bad day. You can start by drinking a 6-pack of beer or your favorite nectar. This is not the best solution. It would be better to enjoy some insurance humor and have a good time. There are many insurance jokes that make you laugh, but they aren’t printed here because some people may not like them.

Many of these insurance jokes were my originals. Others were borrowed from other sources. More information can be found in an article about top insurance jokes that make you laugh. Additional material can be found in an article about life insurance agents retirement, and insurance jokes.


After purchasing a box of rare and expensive cigars in Charlotte, North Carolina, he purchased insurance to protect them from fire. The man, who had smoked all of his fine cigars within a month and not yet made the first premium payment on his insurance policy, filed a claim against the company. The man claimed that the cigars had been lost in a series small fires.

The insurance company refused payment citing obvious reasons: the man had smoked cigars in a normal manner. The man filed suit and was successful! The judge ruled in favor of the insurance company. The judge said that the man had a policy with the insurance company that warranted the cigars’ insurability and guaranteed they would be protected against fire. However, it did not define what was considered unacceptable fire. The insurance company accepted the ruling, and paid $15,000 to the man in settlement for the loss of rare cigars that were lost in “fires”.

Here’s the best part. The insurance company arrested the man on 24 counts for arson after he cashed the check. The man was convicted of deliberately burning his insured property. He was also convicted by his insurance company testimony and testimony from the prior case. He was sentenced to 24 month imprisonment and a $24,000 fine.


Sam, an insurance agent and Joe, a factory worker, are both driving down the same road. Due to an unfortunate accident, the cars collide head-on. The cars are destroyed, although the men survive any serious injuries. Sam immediately responds, “Instead fighting over who is at fault, and since both of us have insurance, why not just celebrate being alive?”

Joe said, “Yeah! Good idea!” “I have a whiskey bottle in my trunk. Why don’t you take it out?” Sam suggests it. Sam suggests that Joe give the unopened bottle to Joe, and that Joe should drink it.

Frank is thirsty and takes half of the bottle. He spits out his frustration and gives the bottle to Sam. “Here! Now you have some!” Sam gives the whiskey back to Sam, who says, “No, I don’t think I can wait until the police arrive.”


The friend of a successful vacuum salesperson is able to give a new salesperson a boost. He says to his friend, “Selling can be easy. You don’t even have leads. All you need is their attention.” He invites the life insurance agent to join him. The two salesmen appear at the elderly lady’s home. The vacuum salesman rushes into the living area and dumps a lot of dirt on the carpet before the lady can speak. He assured her that if the vacuum didn’t pick up all of it, then I’d eat it all.

The woman loses patience and says, “Sir! If I had enough money to purchase that thing, I would pay my electricity bill before they cut off my power.” What would you rather have: a spoon, or a knife and fork?


A man in his 60s decided to stop working after a long and successful career in insurance. He became very bored and was always seeking out new challenges. He found it difficult to kill flies using a newspaper so he decided to use his wife’s hairpins. His wife returns home to see him stab into the air using one of his hairpins.

She suspects he might be getting senile and asks him, “What the hell are you doing?” To his surprise, he replied, “Oh, just eliminating some pesky fly, I got three males, and 2 females.” She thinks he is getting Looney and says, “Now, tell me how it is that they know their gender?” He replies, “Easy. The 3 males were drinking the beer and the 2 females were talking on the phone.”


A sales representative for insurance feels too weak to work and goes to the doctor complaining of aching everywhere. The doctor responds that he feels pain everywhere he touches. The doctor responds, “Okay, touch your elbow.” The sales rep touches his elbow, and screams in pain. The puzzled doctor then says, “Now touch your head.” The doctor orders him to touch his head. The doctor then orders him to touch his knee. Still agony. The pain only gets worse no matter what he does.

The doctor is now totally stumped. He orders a full examination and complete set of xrays. He tells the agent to return in two days. He returns two days later and the doctor says, “We found your issue.” The insurance representative says, “Oh yeah, what’s it?” The doctor replies, “You have broken your finger.”

6. Bumper Sticker: spotted, “Insurance agents are premium lovers”

7. Life insurance is like a parachute. It won’t be there again if it’s not available the first time you require it.

8. You must get a quote from a life insurer trying to sell you. “The greatest use of your life is to invest it in something that will last.” James Truslow Adams

9. There are many annoying things in life, but the agents who offer life insurance cover stand out. Alice MacDougal

10. Ann Landers: “There are three kinds of people: those who make it happen, those who see things happen and those who tell what happened.”