Stop Energy Loss – Release the Past

My body was in a rapidly declining state at 38. I spent 90% of my day distracted by stiff joints, scar tissue and toxic buildup. This kept me from having a fulfilling and enjoyable day. Without some form of pain relief or stimulant, I couldn’t make it more than half of the day and in my relationships. My health was so fragile that I couldn’t depend on it to make it through a two-week trip without getting sick.

Two years ago, the only way to get out of bed was to roll on the floor. Then I would crawl up the wall to relive the evolution from four-legged animal to Neanderthal two-legged me. To get out of bed took 10 minutes and required serious pain management. Sometimes, getting in and out the car was even more difficult. There was no improvement with daily visits to Chiropractors, Osteopaths, and even a New York Romanian Healer.

My 38-year-old body looked more like a 100 year old after 30 years of abuse. I suffered from back pains and had the flu four times per year. In a strange way, my alcohol addiction allowed me to sing, dance and enjoy life. My neck was constantly coiled with anger, pain, and frustration.

I didn’t have the time to stop, and I was too busy being Chris Walker, racing toward the end of my life. So, I ran to fix it. Unfortunately, my body was producing toxic substances at the same time as it was cleaning it. I packed my bags again and headed to India to get rid of my toxin. I tried enemas and other strange remedies, and saw some amazing healers to help me forget my past. I had spent thirty years dumping all manner of stuff down my throat.

However, the toxic gunk isn’t just physical. After serious flushing, I wasn’t fully healed. I was still a walking and talking wreck of my past stories. They ran my life, as I was about discover, and I didn’t know what to do.

My stories were my anchor to the past. They can be used as a sponge to heal from illness, injury, and disease. You can lose focus if you are playing football and don’t remember what happened 30 seconds ago.

My father was a strong man. He kept some very unhealthy stories from the past, making life difficult for himself. At the age of 30, my Dad lost his wife. He never got over it. At 55, he had his first heart attack. He suffered 20 more before he died. He was devastated by her death and all of his actions, including those involving three more marriages, were influenced by his stored emotions.

He was unable to clean out his mess, so he flung it away. This led to him being killed.

The most tragic stories from the past are those that make us angry. Anger at the people from the past can make the present toxic. A single bitter or angry story from when we were four years old can have a lasting impact on our lives when we are 90 years old.

For the past 15 years, I have been blessed with the opportunity to travel around the globe giving growth workshops. 90% of people I have met in workshops and in real life are upset about something that happened in their past.

Anger not only runs their lives, but also their health. Anxiety that comes from past stories about people has been linked to backaches, diabetes, internal problems, cancer, immune issues, and other health problems.

One of my clients came to me with cancer. It had been a battle for four years, but she was now considered terminal. I began to search her stories and asked her about her personal life. The story about the Holocaust kept coming back to me, and it continued. Her mother was 4 years old and she was living in a Polish Ghetto. Her father had already been taken from her. They were starving. My client was starving. Her mother had repeated the story numerous times until her passing. She said that my client cried 24 hours a day during that horrible nightmare. My client’s entire memory revolved around that one morning when her mother offered her the last bread she had. My client, who was “selfish” as her mother called her, sat there with the last piece and threw it in mud, crying as usual. My client wept as she told the story, feeling so mad at herself for her “selfish” actions.

My client became a lawyer to fight selfish people. She was afraid that her husband would be selfish again. She was angry at herself for her selfishness and had done lots of therapy to get it out. Now, I’m sure that this story played a part in her healing.

I asked her: “If that was your last piece of bread, how did it make you live to tell me this story?” You and your mum would both be dead if it were the last piece. Wouldn’t you?”

My client was initially speechless. My client stared blankly at me, her face still holding presence. However, her mind wandered off to a moment in 60 years ago as if it was now. After a few more tears, a smile followed by sobs and laughter. The 60-year-old story that she had told herself was true, but it was now an integral part of her journey.

I’ve worked with many people from all walks who had stories of hatred, anger, resentment and malice towards a parent. It has been a disaster for people’s lives, relationships, and health. It is a way to block deep love and support for parents with stories and memories that, at best, are only half true.

Without a thorough examination of the philosophy, I don’t trust psychologists or therapists. Over half of the thousands of people I have worked with sought professional advice. Nearly all of those who came out of therapy or counseling with their psychologists were worse off than when they arrived. Although it felt better for most, reality is that their stories were seldom challenged. Only the problem was solved.

After 10 years of hatred for her husband, one lady came to me. Her children were violent, traumatic and playing havoc. She had been in a traumatic relationship with both her ex-husband and his two spouses since her marriage. She had seen therapists, and she carefully chose her therapists so that her story about her 10-year-old marriage wouldn’t be questioned. She had even attacked the men she loved punching and kicking, and therapists helped her to “really understand” what she was feeling. She needed a reality check. The question was “Would she accept it?”

Her anger served her. Her stories were part her identity. She felt empowered to tell the world about her ex-husband’s antics, but she also felt angelic and innocent of any of the causes of her marriage breaking apart by blaming her ex.

This lady was the General Manager for a company employing 2,000 people. Her hatred came to work with them, she upset people, fractured the culture, and validated all kinds of emotionally corrupted and distracting behavior, all the way to the level of the cleaning staff. Some people hated her, while others admired her as a strong, determined, hardworking woman. Although it’s a great image, few people realize the pain and suffering that can be experienced by someone who lives and works as this.

She was so strong and brave, and she faced her demons together with me. The story of her ex-husband had nothing to do. We cannot do more to others than we do for ourselves. She hated her ex and had made it a constant theme in her life. Story after story, she found excuses for her anger. As a dentist, my job was not to fill in the rotten teeth but to find the root cause.

For 40 years, she had been living a lie, or a half-true story, that kept her from the father she loved. Anger over something made her feel justified and she held that story like a safety net to heaven and back. She was quite different from the person she told the world. But until that story disappeared from her reality she would continue to be the boss and the partner of hell.

It only took 10 minutes to alter a story that had dominated her life for 40+ years. Real change is possible from this point on. Her values, beliefs, and identity were changed. Her relationship changed, and her leadership changed.

A lot of what we do for therapy or productivity is just decoration. Real change only occurs when we let go old stories and retell them in the context REAL REALITY. Natural law cannot be defied.

Throw a stone high, it must fall. If you tell a bad story, it must also have a positive. There is no “ifs and buts.” It is necessary to be brutally simple and to be open to exploration. However, all of life’s drama can often be traced back at a few half-true stories from the past. To truly transform your life, it only takes 10 minutes.

Anger isn’t necessarily a bad thing. With the right motivation, anger can be used to accomplish something better than wasting your whole life blaming anyone or anything that reminds you of the past.

As we reach the top of the first hill in Nepal, I notice people resorting to anger to get themselves motivated. They grip their fists, clench their teeth and attack the mountain. They are so competitive and committed, which is great. However, anger burns quickly. These people exhaust their energy halfway up the mountain.

Transforming anger means moving it. It starts with feeling it. Many people don’t realize they have anger. It is important to understand that your body will signal you when anger is present if you are not aware.

Once we have recognized that anger exists, the next step is to move it. Using anger or expressing it in any form is exhausting and unsustainable. We move it to a thought.

Anger is the fuel that drives the focus and ability to stay in the zone. Concentration is the channeling of anger into something useful. Commitment is the ability to channel anger into a single purpose. This is a more sustainable way to use anger energy. Keep your eyes on the ball.

If you are looking for love, the final step is to find it. I love to walk in the mountains. And unlike my clients who were angry at me on the first hill, I can channel my anger into a state of mind that allows me to love climbing that mountain. I get very intense looking for beauty, good breathing, and love every step.

This art was taught to me by a high-class professional hooker. This is a different story. She taught me so much about herself as a master in her field. We were just enjoying our time together in bed one day when she asked me to do something different. That seemed to be our common theme, so I agreed.

She replied, “Chris! You have a lot anger in there. It’s all stored up. It’s time to let it all out. Not physically but in your love for me. It was one the most difficult experiences in my life. I was able to let go of years of anger and find the most beautiful love of my life.

I ran the next day and let my anger get in my eyes as I focused on my running. Amazing. The technique was applied to my meditation, work and meetings. It was amazing to me that anger is the root energy of all things. Although it can be destructive, it can also be channeled and it’s extremely inspiring.

Anger can also help us get rid of the bad things we have kept from the past. Instead of getting angry at something, I try to be calm and not get angry. The anger is not always triggered by the event. Rather, it’s a result of an old experience or story that I have kept in my subconscious, and this current event has reminded it.

I then go back and tell the story until it becomes boring. It has both good and bad points. This is an act of self-respect. The RRC (Real Reality Check), allows me to run through my past stories, and even my last day, and it will tell me where I am blocking happiness. Whatever the issue, I won’t do anything until I get it resolved. It is through telling those stories that we can grow. It can change addictive behaviors, ideologies and values, productivity, and emotional experience, as well as our lives.

This is a great detox, and you don’t need to travel to India for it. However, that’s fun and Rama Prasad of can take groups there. You can change the world by letting go of unhelpful stories and allowing yourself to be balanced.