An insurance agent who does something stupid feels the need to get rid of the car. A better therapy option would be to tell a silly joke, tell a story or quote about insurance agents. These are just a few examples that might fit into that category and make your mistakes seem less catastrophic.
Our insurance jokes prove that laughter is the best medicine. Some jokes are our originals while others are based on what we’ve heard. Some are rejected because they are not suitable for printing.
1. EASY GROUP SALES: A man walks in to an insurance office looking for work. The sales manager says, “We don’t need any one.” “You must hire me. I can sell anything, any time, anywhere. Manager replies, “Well, we have two wealthy people that no one can sell.” You can only sell one of them to get a job. After a short time, the man returned with two checks. One for $150,000 per year and one for $250,000. The manager asked, “How did you do it?” “I told the manager that I am the best salesman in the world, I can sell anything, any time, and anywhere!”
“Where is the urine sample?” The manager replied. “What’s that?” He asked. The company will require it if you sell a policy worth more than $100,000. These two bottles can be used to collect urine samples. He returns six hours later with two five-gallon buckets. He takes two bottles of urine from his shirt pocket and places them on the desk. “Here they come.”
Manager grins and says, “That’s fantastic!” He then asks, “What’s in those smelly buckets?” The man smiles back, and replies, “Well, they passed by the law association.” They were having a wild convention, and I sold them group insurance!”
2. SELLING LIFE INSURED Airman Jones was assigned at the induction centre. He advised new recruits on their government benefits, including their GI insurance. Captain Smith soon noticed that Airman Jones had nearly a 100 percent record in insurance sales. This was unprecedented. Instead of asking about it, Captain Smith sat in the back and listened as Jones spoke.
Jones explained to the recruits the basics of GI Insurance. Jones explained to them that if you have GI Insurance, and you go into combat and get killed, the government must pay $200,000 to your beneficiaries. If you don’t have GI Insurance and go into combat and are killed, the government can only pay $6000.
He concluded that “now” was the right time to ask, “Which bunch do you think they will send into combat first?”
3. FISHY STORY: “Give an agent an insurance policy and he’ll eat for a whole day.” He will teach you how to sell and take your client out for lunch and drinks all day.
4. ACT OF God “The Act of God” designation is on all insurance policies. This basically means that you can’t be insured for the most likely accidents to occur to you. —-AlanCoren —-
5. INSURANCE CROOK. A drunk enters a bar shouting, “I think all insurance agents crooks.” The drunk is quickly rushed by a man who shouts, “You take it back!” The drunk responds, “Why aren’t you an insurance agent?” The drunk replies, “Why are you an insurance agent?”. In a rage, the man shouts back, “No, it’s a crook!”
6. GAMBLER A life insurance agent decides to bring a friend to the horse racing track to enjoy the afternoon. His wife questions him when he returns to his home. “How was your day? Did you make any money?” He responds. He replies, “Well, I didn’t make any money today. But my client certainly learned that gambling with the numbers doesn’t pay off.”
7. COWBOY A cowboy is approached by an agent who wants to sell him an insurance policy that covers accidents. The cowboy replies, “Never”. “However, just recently, a horse kicked in two of my ribs and back a few years ago, a rattlesnake bit me ankle. These aren’t accidents, wouldn’t you? The agent was puzzled. The cowboy said no. “They did it intentionally! “.
8. CARING WIFES A husband and wife were sitting together in their living room when he stated to her that he didn’t want to live in a vegetative condition, dependent on a machine and fluids from bottles. You can always pull the plug if that happens. His wife unplugged the TV, and he threw away all of his beer.
9. BIG POLICY —- Jack Benny—-
10.THE TRUE “ The insurance salesman keeps us all poor so that we can die rich”
